When you were a kid, did you go to the fair, or an amusement park or games room where the had the good ol' game 'Whack-a-Mole'? I realized yesterday while I was working through a bunch of crap in my head (again) that it kinda describes the experiences I had growing up that shaped my self worth
My family was full of unconditional love and support on pretty much everything I did (which was lucky for me, I needed it haha). I believed I could be or do anything I set my mind to. I was super confident, full of ideas and excitement and charged out into the world to see what I could accomplish.
Then the voices set in. I don't mean voices in my head, I mean the comments from all around me that stuck with me.The 'Whack-a-Moles'!!
The well-intended remarks, things said I'm sure to educate me or teach me reality, to keep me from being disappointed, to protect me from going out into society, you know as myself, and getting hurt by the world.
I get it logically because I'm looking back now, but it's taken a hell of a lot of work on my part to start digging through the crap in my head that's kept me in conflict about myself for as long as I can remember. I couldn't understand why I always wanted more, different, bigger.....and then felt guilty for it.
Most people would say I'm a super outgoing, confident, strong person. I can accomplish anything I set my mind to for sure. But these are the things that people don't see, and I want to share this because I think lots of others out there like me who put on a brave front have this kind of struggle and I hope to empower you to cut the shit and step out into your vulnerability, own it, be you and strive for a life you love.Here's what it sounded like when I was younger:
You're so smart but never stay focused WHACK
You're too sure of yourself, I'd watch it if I were you WHACK
That comes across as a little too aggressive WHACK
It's good to have big plans but that's not the way the world works WHACK
Ok I guess you can try but don't be upset if it doesn't work out WHACK
If you never expect anything, you'll never be disappointed WHACK
You feel like you're constantly trying to avoid the whack, and that's exactly what happens. You learn to duck. You stop being out there, you stop having a voice or doing something out of the norm. You quit sharing your ideas and big plans and eventually you even forget about having them in the first place.I mean honestly, how many times have you had 'the super pump' about something so exciting you saw or read about or talked about, couldn't wait to do it, and wanted to scream about it from the rooftops.....and then WHACK someone bops you right on the head??!!
It still happens to me, all the time. I think outside the box and always have but for years I put that side of me away. The real me. The one who learned to duck.....but I'm back in the saddle now.Here's what it sounds like these days:
If that job existed everyone would be doing it WHACK
You can't have your cake and eat it too WHACK
If it sounds too good to be true it is WHACK
Only a small percentage of people make it big in that biz WHACK
You can't have it all WHACKI'm here to say screw off with the WHACKING!
Yes, you can absolutely create the job you want. The one that a friend said to me "if that job existed everyone would be doing it". 2 weeks later guess what?! I created it. True story.
If you can't have your cake and eat it too, what the hell would be the point of the cake??If it sounds too good to be true it is -- isn't true
If you're expecting someone to hand you something on a silver platter while you eat chips on the couch, then maybe I'd agree. It means you have to put in the work to make that thing happen! It's not rocket science.
Only a small percentage of people make it big in that biz -- I'm here to say that's true of all businesses. The ones who put in the work on themselves professionally and personally (not just punching the clock) are the ones who excel and succeed. It is all how you look at it. You have to decide to be one of the top %, or you won't be. Simple as that!And you can't have it all -- is NOT true if you're talking about what YOU actually want
Define what 'it all' is for you. Don't compare yourself to anyone else's list. Figure out what your definition is and then work towards it every single day! You absolutely can have it all.
If any of this resonates with you, there's a whole tribe of people out there just like you who want to support you. I didn't know it existed either, but I do now and I'll never be the same. You can have it all as soon as you define what that means for you.It's time to stop ducking in life. The whacks will still come but it won't matter. Step up, step into who you really are. Where will you be 5 years from now if you do something different starting now?
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